My Husband Left Me and Our One-year-old Daughter Alone for Six Weeks So He Could Climb Mount Everest … And We\u2019re Doing Just Fine<\/strong><\/h3>\nBy Elianna Perez<\/strong><\/h3>\n\u201cI would never let my husband do something like that.\u201d That seems to be the most common phrase I hear when I tell people that my husband Asher is gone for six weeks to climb a mountain.<\/p>\n
Once I delve a little deeper and explain he\u2019s climbing Mount Everest, I usually see a little excitement, a few \u201cOh wow, so cool,\u201d and a bunch of \u201cHe\u2019s crazy!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut I still wouldn\u2019t let him do it,\u201d they end with.<\/p>\n
The word \u201clet\u201d is what bothers me. Do we really feel that we control our partners so much that we can make decisions for them?<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t get me wrong, leaving for six weeks is a lot, especially when you\u2019re leaving behind an overactive one-year-old. I’m no saint, and it does bother me. But I would never tell my husband he can or can\u2019t do this. He\u2019s his own person, and I don\u2019t control him, just like I\u2019m my own person, and he doesn\u2019t control me.<\/p>\n
Joining together in marriage means we\u2019re in a partnership, but we\u2019re not in charge of each other. We\u2019re each individual people with our own individual talents and needs.<\/p>\n
Is it easy spending six weeks alone? Yes and no.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I feel it is easier without him. That\u2019s why so many people stay single, right? I don\u2019t have to clean up after him, I can make whatever I want for dinner, I can keep the light on as late as I want at night, I don\u2019t have to hear his alarm in the morning that he puts on snooze at least four times, and there are no disagreements. Everything is done my way.<\/p>\n
But in other ways, it\u2019s hard.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, I get overwhelmed taking care of my daughter while simultaneously running my own business and simultaneously overseeing a remodeling project in our house. There are days when she wakes up at 5:00 AM, won\u2019t nap, and is insanely energetic. I get tired, really tired, and I can\u2019t turn to my husband and tell him he\u2019s on duty. I can\u2019t just take a nap. I have to push through and be there for my baby because I\u2019m the only one who can.<\/p>\n
My husband was on the mountain for Mother\u2019s Day, so I didn\u2019t get flowers or a special brunch as a family. I spent the day with my daughter and my mother, and that\u2019s what the day is really about, but I still missed him.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\n\n\nWe\u2019ve had full weeks where we were able to video chat every day, twice a day (yes, there\u2019s internet on certain parts of Everest). Those weeks were amazing. He was doing his thing, and I was doing mine, and we were able to connect at the start and end of each day. But then there are full weeks where we can\u2019t communicate at all. He\u2019s climbing towards the summit to acclimate or attempting the summit push, and I worry about his safety without updates.<\/p>\n
I love hosting people in our home for dinner parties, but I\u2019m holding off until he\u2019s back. He\u2019s encouraged me to do it anyways, but it feels weird to do it without him. I\u2019ve had friends stay for girls\u2019 weekends and an aunt visit, but I don\u2019t want to invite couples and be the only one without my partner. It has made me all the more aware of my single friends out there and how hard it must be for them.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow are you doing this by yourself for six weeks?! I can barely do bedtime alone,\u201d one friend wrote to me.<\/p>\n
For me, taking care of our daughter alone is not the hard part. It\u2019s missing his support and partnership. When he\u2019s home, Asher will often make me a coffee and listen when I want to talk about my day or a particular issue I\u2019m facing. While I don\u2019t NEED those things, I miss it. Nowadays, I\u2019m lucky if we have a one-minute conversation. You don’t realize how much you share with your partner until you can\u2019t anymore.<\/p>\n
At 29,032 feet above sea level, Everest is the tallest mountain in the world. Temperatures can drop as low as -76 degrees Fahrenheit, and winds can reach up to 177 miles per hour. It takes an incredible amount of grit, strength and ambition to summit the mountain.<\/p>\n
Part of the reason Asher climbs mountains is for self-reflection. He learns to be alone with himself without the distraction of technology and discovers new parts of himself he didn’t know existed. He pushes himself in new ways.<\/p>\n
While Asher\u2019s incredible feat of climbing Mount Everest is certainly more adventurous and cool, I, too, am pushing myself in other ways. I\u2019m proving to myself that I am capable. Take care of a one-year-old solo while running a business and overseeing a remodeling of your house? No problem. I can do it all. I may not be climbing Mount Everest but I’m pretty badass for holding down the fort and keeping our lives running without any help.<\/p>\n
My husband\u2019s goal is to reach all seven summits. He classifies the seven summits by continent, which means Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa, Mount McKinley in North America, Mount Elbrus in Europe, Mount Everest in Asia, Mount Vinson in Antarctica, Mount Aconcagua in South America, and Mount Wilhelm in Australia. He has already sumitted Kilimanjaro, Denali (Mckinley), and Elbrus. That means he just has three mountains left and none as dangerous as Everest. I hope he accomplishes his goal, but I also plan to accompany him to those other destinations with our amazing sassy daughter. I won\u2019t be climbing the mountains, necessarily, but I will be a happy tourist in Australia, Argentina, and Antarctica.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\n\n\nCould I leave for 6 weeks to pursue a passion like this? Yes. My husband would gladly step up. Would I? No. But that\u2019s my choice. I am insanely obsessed with my daughter and I wouldn\u2019t want to leave her during these formative years. I want to be her rock, the person she can count on, who will always be there for her. But it\u2019s a choice I\u2019m consciously making, and I don\u2019t feel stuck.<\/p>\n
Does it bother me that he\u2019s climbing Everest? Yes. It\u2019s dangerous. 11 people have already died this year and there are bound to be more.<\/p>\n
Do I wish he found another passion? Yes, of course. Do I want him to do this again? Hell no.
\nBut I would NEVER want to squash his passion.<\/p>\n
Asher\u2019s life isn\u2019t normal nor easy to deal with, but I accept it. I love that he\u2019s different, has unique interests, and is willing to work hard to achieve his goals. To me, the sexiest quality in a partner is ambition. His pursuit of Everest\u2019s summit personifies that.<\/p>\n
Do I support him? 100%. I married Asher, knowing who he was, and I accepted that this was his passion. Despite it being hard, I will always defend him and support his dreams.<\/p>\n
I think that\u2019s why our partnership works and why we have a successful relationship. We give each other room to be independent people. We don\u2019t change ourselves to be what the other person wants or expects, we\u2019re just ourselves.<\/p>\n
During this period, we\u2019re exemplifying for our daughter what a healthy relationship looks like and the importance of setting ambitious goals and pursuing one\u2019s passions. We\u2019re showing her we\u2019re all capable of more than we think, Whether it\u2019s my husband climbing the tallest mountain in the world despite his fear of heights or me doing solo parenting for six weeks.<\/p>\n
Our daughter started walking while Asher was on Everest. It was hard for her to get up on her own two feet and take that first step forward alone without mommy holding her hand. But she did it. Sometimes, she moves too fast out of excitement and ends up falling. I explain to her the importance of taking it slow to ultimately get further. She picks herself back up, starts over, takes another step, and puts one foot in front of the other.<\/p>\n
The same thing applies to Asher. To rush to the top of Everest is dangerous and reckless and will result in some sort of fall. He needs to go slowly, cautiously, and take his time to adjust to the altitude and wait for good weather. Is it easy that he\u2019s gone for so long? No. Definitely not. But we\u2019re not rushing. Some days are harder than others, but we\u2019re taking it slow. If we fall, we pick ourselves up and continue. We move on. We keep going. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
###<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\nElianna Perez currently resides in Hollywood, Florida, with her husband and one-year-old daughter. She is a former CBS National News Producer who now runs her own travel planning and production business, Elianna Mintz Productions, after traveling the world during the pandemic. She can be reached on her Instagram @aroundtheworld_inbabydays.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nThank you, Elianna and Asher.<\/p>\n
Climb On!
\nAlan
\nMemories are Everything<\/p>\n
\nThe Podcast on alanarnette.com<\/span><\/h2>\nYou can hear #everest2022 podcasts on\u00a0<\/span>Spotify<\/a><\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>Apple Podcast<\/a><\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>Google Podcasts<\/a><\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>Pocket Casts<\/a><\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>RadioPublic<\/a><\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>Anchor<\/a><\/span>, and more. Just search for “alan arnette” on your favorite podcast platform.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nSummit Coach<\/span><\/h2>\n
\u201cI would never let my husband do something like that.\u201d That seems to be the most common phrase I hear when I tell people that my husband Asher is gone for six weeks to climb a mountain.<\/p>\n
Once I delve a little deeper and explain he\u2019s climbing Mount Everest, I usually see a little excitement, a few \u201cOh wow, so cool,\u201d and a bunch of \u201cHe\u2019s crazy!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut I still wouldn\u2019t let him do it,\u201d they end with.<\/p>\n
The word \u201clet\u201d is what bothers me. Do we really feel that we control our partners so much that we can make decisions for them?<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t get me wrong, leaving for six weeks is a lot, especially when you\u2019re leaving behind an overactive one-year-old. I’m no saint, and it does bother me. But I would never tell my husband he can or can\u2019t do this. He\u2019s his own person, and I don\u2019t control him, just like I\u2019m my own person, and he doesn\u2019t control me.<\/p>\n
Joining together in marriage means we\u2019re in a partnership, but we\u2019re not in charge of each other. We\u2019re each individual people with our own individual talents and needs.<\/p>\n
Is it easy spending six weeks alone? Yes and no.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I feel it is easier without him. That\u2019s why so many people stay single, right? I don\u2019t have to clean up after him, I can make whatever I want for dinner, I can keep the light on as late as I want at night, I don\u2019t have to hear his alarm in the morning that he puts on snooze at least four times, and there are no disagreements. Everything is done my way.<\/p>\n
But in other ways, it\u2019s hard.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, I get overwhelmed taking care of my daughter while simultaneously running my own business and simultaneously overseeing a remodeling project in our house. There are days when she wakes up at 5:00 AM, won\u2019t nap, and is insanely energetic. I get tired, really tired, and I can\u2019t turn to my husband and tell him he\u2019s on duty. I can\u2019t just take a nap. I have to push through and be there for my baby because I\u2019m the only one who can.<\/p>\n
My husband was on the mountain for Mother\u2019s Day, so I didn\u2019t get flowers or a special brunch as a family. I spent the day with my daughter and my mother, and that\u2019s what the day is really about, but I still missed him.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
We\u2019ve had full weeks where we were able to video chat every day, twice a day (yes, there\u2019s internet on certain parts of Everest). Those weeks were amazing. He was doing his thing, and I was doing mine, and we were able to connect at the start and end of each day. But then there are full weeks where we can\u2019t communicate at all. He\u2019s climbing towards the summit to acclimate or attempting the summit push, and I worry about his safety without updates.<\/p>\n
I love hosting people in our home for dinner parties, but I\u2019m holding off until he\u2019s back. He\u2019s encouraged me to do it anyways, but it feels weird to do it without him. I\u2019ve had friends stay for girls\u2019 weekends and an aunt visit, but I don\u2019t want to invite couples and be the only one without my partner. It has made me all the more aware of my single friends out there and how hard it must be for them.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow are you doing this by yourself for six weeks?! I can barely do bedtime alone,\u201d one friend wrote to me.<\/p>\n
For me, taking care of our daughter alone is not the hard part. It\u2019s missing his support and partnership. When he\u2019s home, Asher will often make me a coffee and listen when I want to talk about my day or a particular issue I\u2019m facing. While I don\u2019t NEED those things, I miss it. Nowadays, I\u2019m lucky if we have a one-minute conversation. You don’t realize how much you share with your partner until you can\u2019t anymore.<\/p>\n
At 29,032 feet above sea level, Everest is the tallest mountain in the world. Temperatures can drop as low as -76 degrees Fahrenheit, and winds can reach up to 177 miles per hour. It takes an incredible amount of grit, strength and ambition to summit the mountain.<\/p>\n
Part of the reason Asher climbs mountains is for self-reflection. He learns to be alone with himself without the distraction of technology and discovers new parts of himself he didn’t know existed. He pushes himself in new ways.<\/p>\n
While Asher\u2019s incredible feat of climbing Mount Everest is certainly more adventurous and cool, I, too, am pushing myself in other ways. I\u2019m proving to myself that I am capable. Take care of a one-year-old solo while running a business and overseeing a remodeling of your house? No problem. I can do it all. I may not be climbing Mount Everest but I’m pretty badass for holding down the fort and keeping our lives running without any help.<\/p>\n
My husband\u2019s goal is to reach all seven summits. He classifies the seven summits by continent, which means Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa, Mount McKinley in North America, Mount Elbrus in Europe, Mount Everest in Asia, Mount Vinson in Antarctica, Mount Aconcagua in South America, and Mount Wilhelm in Australia. He has already sumitted Kilimanjaro, Denali (Mckinley), and Elbrus. That means he just has three mountains left and none as dangerous as Everest. I hope he accomplishes his goal, but I also plan to accompany him to those other destinations with our amazing sassy daughter. I won\u2019t be climbing the mountains, necessarily, but I will be a happy tourist in Australia, Argentina, and Antarctica.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Could I leave for 6 weeks to pursue a passion like this? Yes. My husband would gladly step up. Would I? No. But that\u2019s my choice. I am insanely obsessed with my daughter and I wouldn\u2019t want to leave her during these formative years. I want to be her rock, the person she can count on, who will always be there for her. But it\u2019s a choice I\u2019m consciously making, and I don\u2019t feel stuck.<\/p>\n
Does it bother me that he\u2019s climbing Everest? Yes. It\u2019s dangerous. 11 people have already died this year and there are bound to be more.<\/p>\n
Do I wish he found another passion? Yes, of course. Do I want him to do this again? Hell no.
\nBut I would NEVER want to squash his passion.<\/p>\n
Asher\u2019s life isn\u2019t normal nor easy to deal with, but I accept it. I love that he\u2019s different, has unique interests, and is willing to work hard to achieve his goals. To me, the sexiest quality in a partner is ambition. His pursuit of Everest\u2019s summit personifies that.<\/p>\n
Do I support him? 100%. I married Asher, knowing who he was, and I accepted that this was his passion. Despite it being hard, I will always defend him and support his dreams.<\/p>\n
I think that\u2019s why our partnership works and why we have a successful relationship. We give each other room to be independent people. We don\u2019t change ourselves to be what the other person wants or expects, we\u2019re just ourselves.<\/p>\n
During this period, we\u2019re exemplifying for our daughter what a healthy relationship looks like and the importance of setting ambitious goals and pursuing one\u2019s passions. We\u2019re showing her we\u2019re all capable of more than we think, Whether it\u2019s my husband climbing the tallest mountain in the world despite his fear of heights or me doing solo parenting for six weeks.<\/p>\n
Our daughter started walking while Asher was on Everest. It was hard for her to get up on her own two feet and take that first step forward alone without mommy holding her hand. But she did it. Sometimes, she moves too fast out of excitement and ends up falling. I explain to her the importance of taking it slow to ultimately get further. She picks herself back up, starts over, takes another step, and puts one foot in front of the other.<\/p>\n
The same thing applies to Asher. To rush to the top of Everest is dangerous and reckless and will result in some sort of fall. He needs to go slowly, cautiously, and take his time to adjust to the altitude and wait for good weather. Is it easy that he\u2019s gone for so long? No. Definitely not. But we\u2019re not rushing. Some days are harder than others, but we\u2019re taking it slow. If we fall, we pick ourselves up and continue. We move on. We keep going. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
###<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Elianna Perez currently resides in Hollywood, Florida, with her husband and one-year-old daughter. She is a former CBS National News Producer who now runs her own travel planning and production business, Elianna Mintz Productions, after traveling the world during the pandemic. She can be reached on her Instagram @aroundtheworld_inbabydays.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Thank you, Elianna and Asher.<\/p>\n
Climb On!
\nAlan
\nMemories are Everything<\/p>\n
\n
The Podcast on alanarnette.com<\/span><\/h2>\nYou can hear #everest2022 podcasts on\u00a0<\/span>Spotify<\/a><\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>Apple Podcast<\/a><\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>Google Podcasts<\/a><\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>Pocket Casts<\/a><\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>RadioPublic<\/a><\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>Anchor<\/a><\/span>, and more. Just search for “alan arnette” on your favorite podcast platform.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nSummit Coach<\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
![\"summit](\"https:\/\/www.alanarnette.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/cropped-silverheels_2008_020.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n