For many climbers, medical people, they will be leaving their homes and families for Everest in less than a month. This can be the culmination to a difficult, trying and, for some, a very exciting time in their lives.
A fictional essay:
The kids are in bed, the house is quiet; now is the time.
“Honey, I want to talk to you”, she said in a soft voice. “Sure, let’s sit on the couch”, he responded expecting a discussion about one of their children’s schoolwork.
Holding his hand, she looked in his eyes and said, “I want to climb Everest”.
He fought to hold onto his emotions. He knew of her love of mountains before they were married. She had climbed Rainier in her early twenties, Aconcagua in her thirties and then Denali. She was good. She was safe. She was a natural. But Everest, the highest? Everest, where people die every year? He fought to hold on.
She squeezed his hand gently yet firmly. “You know I’ve always dreamed of this. The kids are in a good place. We are in a good place.” We have the money, I have the time off work …” He interrupted, “You have already talked to your boss?” he said defensively. “No, not yet but I know I can get it. I wanted to talk to you first – before anyone else.”
He relaxed. She smiled.
That night they crawled into bed, a king-size bed – he flops around a lot. They had their usual hug and goodnight kiss before rolling on their sides, facing away from one another. As she laid with her eyes wide open, she felt him move closer. “Yes. Yes, I will support you in your dream.”
She didn’t need his permission. She needed his support.
The next year was a whirlwind. She trained like there was no tomorrow. He picked up the kids from school as she ran laps up the local hill. As he rolled over at 4 a.m. when the alarm went off, she went for her morning run.
She gave him a loving peck as she came back from her workout with her trainer after work. He cooked the endless chicken breasts, fueling her for the next workout. He agreed, reluctantly, to remove their beloved wine collection to support her training. This was about them, not him, not her.
Each night, they both went to sleep committed yet still uncertain about their bargain.
That Christmas, around the table, she lifted a glass of wine, an exception, for a toast. She looked across the table at him. She looked at her children. She paused as she took a deep breath.
“Kids, I want to tell you something.”
The duffel bags took up most of the room in the minivan. He drove as she carried on the normal conversation with the kids. They had seen their mom leave before on many business trips.
“OK, you guys behave while I’m gone. OK? I want you to be good for your dad. OK? I will call as much as I can but remember what I told you about satellite phones. Remember?”
Tears welled up as she quickly looked away, avoiding eye contact. She squeezed her husband’s hand. He squeezed back.
The night before, they talked – they talked like they had never have talked. The tears came and flowed freely. No pretense, no tough guy, no tough gal. Real people, real emotions. Brutal honesty. “Honey, if something happens…” He stopped her. “Nothing will happen. I am sure of that.” Yes, but if something does …”, her voice trailed off.
She was very thorough, she had signed all the forms, all the legal papers, every contingency was covered. Every base was covered … except for the unexpected.
The hugs at the airport were long. The parking police came over but unexpectedly left as they witnessed the scene. Her children looked at her. “I love you, mom.” “I love you too sweetie. Mommy will be home soon. You be good like we talked about. OK?” She broke the hugs knowing that she could never really let go.
With the kids back in the minivan, he looked deeply into his wife’s eyes, her soul, her essence; she looked back. The embrace was long, it was strong, it was full of love.
Nothing was left unsaid.
Climb On!
Alan
Memories are Everything
13 thoughts on “Everest 2014: Nothing Left Unsaid”
Alan, do you have a list, or is there a list, of most of the climbers websites that are climbing either this year or years past? It would be interesting to read their journeys, causes, dreams and commitments.
Allen, you can look on this blog, using the menu for Everest – Coverage – at each year I have covered Everest for a list of bloggers that year on the right sidebar. Many of the websites are still active. You could spend months reading their inner thoughts they generously shared. Also, I did a post this year asking a few people this very question. They generously shared their thoughts as well.
Alan, thanks I will have a look. Over the years I have seen some of them. I guess my thoughts were the next step. It would be nice if there was a “central hub” or a register where everyone who is climbing all all the different teams could go to list their websites, blogs, or journals for quick and easy access.
Spot on with this Allen. I think you were eaves dropping into my life. Thanks to a very supportive spouse I could go on my trip being able to really focus on the here and now once I stepped onto the mountain. It was the remarks from the other mothers such as ” My family would fall apart if I left for one night” or ” What kind of husband would let his wife leave for 2 months?” that would let the guilt seep in. My own family rose to the occasion and it is amazing what they can do if no one else is around to do it for them. It never fails that the moment I step foot into the house after a long trip the first question they will ask me is “What’s for dinner?”. It is like I had never left!
Thanks Alan, our support at home deserves recognition (and our thanks).
Thanks Allan. Our climbing choices aren’t easy on anyone…
Nicely written, as usual
Alan, this is so beautifully written. It gives us such peace, knowing we have nothing left unsaid. It teaches us on so many levels and allows a comfort we can appreciate forever.That was my Dad’s philosophy, too, and my son is a Soldier who experiences this first-hand. We need to remember that many types of events separate us both physically & mentally, i.e.,following one’s Dream, Alzheimer’s, etc. We must share what our loved ones need to hear (and what we need to say) while we are here for them and prepare them for any outcome. Leave Nothing unsaid.
Thanks Pam…
Thanks for sharing this. I love that the climber is a woman in the story.
I always recommend Maria Coffey’s excellent book, “Where the Mountain Casts its Shadow.”
You made me cry this morning Alan Arnette. So touching. So true 🙂
I remeber when you left last year to do a trek and I asked about your wife. The impact must be very deep for all. Very very strong people. Thank you for this post even though you make me cry.
Beautiful story. Couldn’t capture that moment any better.
Comments are closed.